A 'love' Letter, Year 2007

Pagi tadi dengan tiba-tiba terasa ingin membaca entry-entry blog terdahulu. Masa zaman blogging di Friendster dolu-dolu. Baca punya baca ada satu entry nie yang agak menusuk kalbu. Rasa macam nak re-post balik di blogspotku ini. Tak tau apa motifnya ni tapi terasa macam nak mengimbas kenangan lalu..bole? :)) "Surat" ini telah ditulis pada akhir Ogos 2007 dan ditujukan khas kepada seorang kawanku (pada ketika itu).

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A Letter to My Dear Friend, *Har..

August 29th, 2007 by maszuber
 

While we were strolling at mid valley last few days..

Har_ _: Look at the dress! Uishh beautiful and gorgeuos! im sure the dress will give you some curve n sexy new look.

i looked at the dress. Hmm..i wonder, how can the beautiful dress will suit to me as im wearing veil, a headscaft, a tudung..

Slowly i replied,

Mas: Yes, sure..i will wear that dress on a one fine day…

..and i want u to know what my heart continue to say in silence, ‘i’ll wear that dress only in front of my husband one day, InshaAllah..’

I won’t blame you for asking me that. Never! honestly, I take it in a positive way. You told me before, you know less about religion. and im very well understood about it. In fact im sure,maybe because you dont really know why i choose to be dressed like what i am now, with tudung and covering clothes. Let me share with you some of the reasons here.

The reason i began to wear like this was simply that i believed (and still believe) it is mandated in Islam. Besides the simple answer that I am Muslim and believed that the tudung and covering are required in Islam, i guess you wanna know more detail about why i actually wear it and what the purpose or point of the covering is, particularly when you know theres other Muslim women who do not wear it. 

I cannot speak to why so many Muslim women do not wear it or who struggle with the issues of covering, and what their state of mind or opinion on the matter is. I REFUSE TO JUDGE them for being in the stage they are in and i do not know what their personal circumtances may be. They have their own way of thinking and i will always respect that. Always! i can onli answer to what i think, i feel and believe the purpose and benefits of my tudung and covering achieve (always hope so). My intent is onli to give, to share my own opinion and experiences.

Firstly, is Modesty. when dressed in a covering way, im not showing my physical attributes (or perhaps lack of it) to anyone. People are forced to judge me by my actions and speech, by how well I do my job or how I interact with others, rather than by whether or not I am geezz curvy and sexy and interest them in some other way(maybe).

Secondly, to that same end, my beauty is then saved for my husband’s full enjoyment (who ever he is, onli Allah knows) and he knows he does not share me with anyone. I am not out getting a lot of attention from others that may make him feel insecure or that is disrespectful to me.

Thirdly, I am noticeable different, a Muslim. most people respect that (i hope so). They can clearly see that I am not the kind of women that they can whistle or cat-call at, nor am i going to agree to meet them in a bar, club or pub, nor can they proposition me on the street or in the office. 

Forthly and the most important i want you to know, wearing tudung n covering dress works to remind me of my duties. Im more likely to be a better person to myself when I am covered because its  a POTENT REMINDER to me of what type of BEHAVIOURS and ATTITUDES is expected of me. InshaAllah.

Well well well…that is why, i choose to be like what i am now. not onli do i have the security that i am following a mandate set by God and thereby pleasing God, but i also experience great comforts in this life because of my coverage. Contrary to what many think, 

I am not forced to wear it (well, yes, at the early age, i feel like being forced when mom asked me to wear it but somehow when i get older and matured, n my brain start working on this logical thinking, i start to love it), it is not an obstacle or discomfort to me, and it does not in any way impair my opportunities and abilities. Im a Malay Muslim girl with a high degree of personal freedom and fulfillment.

Hope someday, you will understand…

Regards,

Mastura.

*Har_ _, a friend which i know frm friendster, its been quite awhile i know him..2 years??  he hee. As a matter of fact, he helps me a lot in so many ways. Life is tough. N yes, he’s the onli person (among my friends) whom i dare and comfortable to talk in english with. Maybe because of his pan-asian look which a bit diffrent from other friends. I put away all my shyness, confidently using my broken english n yup he trained me very well. Thank you. no matter what, hope u will always be my friend. Always!

tamat.

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Alright, as i told you earlier, the entry was written in year 2007, 3 years ago. heheee. Ingatkan lepas dia baca entry nie ari tue, it might somehow create distance in our friendship but somehow, we are getting closer to each other.

and till now, after 5 years of knowing him, he is still my friend. A special one. 

:)