Khamis, 8 Oktober 2009

Marrying Mr. Right?!

i like dis article, taken from Enjoy reading!

Marrying Mr. Right!

by Nafisa Mohammad, an Australian Muslim living in Egypt. She is a university student studying the Montessorian system of training young children.

The family is always looking for the best husband or wife for their daughter or son. They usually aim very high. They might want someone from a high-class background with lots of money and a good position in society. All this, they feel, will make their child happy. However, perhaps this is not realistic.

It is very likely that the daughter or son is looking for more simple qualities and looking for someone who is compatible on an everyday basis. To them, the materialist side of things is just not as important as having someone by their side who makes them happy and with whom they can face all of life's challenges.

If you were to ask a young man or woman, what is more important: being with someone who makes you laugh and see things in a more positive way or having the latest model of a luxury car?

I wonder what they would say. I think that those who choose the luxury car are missing out on the important things in life and perhaps are not ready to get married. The purpose of marriage is to have someone who will make you a better person than what you are while accepting you, as you continue your life's journey.

If you have this basic happy and harmonious relationship, it is not really important to have the biggest house, the luxury car, or all that. This does not mean that the young couple should not try to develop their life together and accumulate all the things they need; it simply means that they should not be the deciding factor when choosing a partner for life.

Some young people say that you — girls, I mean — could marry a millionaire and then after some time he could become bankrupt. Your relationship with him might be wonderful and loving and honest, but then you face this calamity. What would you do? If you take the materialistic point of view, then you would leave this person and find another. However, we would have to ask if you married Mr. Right and truly committed yourself to him and to stand together no matter what.

Your relationship with Mr. Right (or Mrs. Right) should be based on:

Forgiveness. No one is perfect, so there will be disagreements from time to time. Both partners will inevitably do or say something that upsets the other. You cannot go crying back to your parents every time something goes wrong.

If you really thought carefully before marrying and ensured he or she had all the qualities you need, and you prayed Istikharah (Arabic for: supplication for guidance in making a decision) before making the decision, then you have married the right person. So that's not a question anymore

When trouble happens, it is time to make this marriage work and draw on all those positive qualities that you know you both have.

Love. This is the quality that most people focus on. Love is something that grows as the relationship develops and deepens. It grows out of honesty, respect, harmony, forgiveness, and excellent communication from both sides.

The sparks of love should exist before the couple marry. When they do, be sure that if the behavior from both parties is good, it will grow into tenderness and love. It is this feeling that makes the couple want to be together.

Honesty. To bond the relationship between you and your to-be spouse, your dealings with him or her should be based on truthfulness.

There should be so much openness between both parties that you can share anything and say anything and be sure you will be respected and understood.

Telling lies and twisting the truth puts a wedge between you, and this spells doom to the relationship.

Compassion. If a couple are really close, each feels what the other is feeling. One of them would never laugh when the other cries, or go out to have fun when the other is ill.

Compassion proves your love for each other and fortifies it.

If you and Mr. or Mrs. Right have this kind of relationship, it is a foundation on which you build your life together. So any kind of wealth you gain or possessions you accumulate or opportunities you have, would only be a bonus to an already fruitful and happy relationship.

Also, if parents are really looking for their children's happiness, they would rejoice with them in a loving and happy relationship.


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